Dear Dr. G,

My husband and I have been married for the last twenty years and we have grown up kids.

After sharing the same bed with the same man, no matter how wonderful he is, sex can be a bit stale. I read on the Internet it is important to get the love flames going.

Of course, several suggestions including roleplay and marital aid have been mentioned. Don’t get me wrong, I still find my husband very attractive.

However, we are hoping for a bit more “spice” between the sheets and hope to get some advice.

I recently suggested we should consider “sex toys” to reignite the passions in the bedroom. I can see how embarrassed and dismissive my husband became.

I understand this sort of matter is culturally sensitive and even illegal in some countries, I am hoping to put Dr. G on the spot to inquire more about adult toys.

What exactly are sex toys? How many variations are there? Are they for men, women, or both? Are they legal and Where can I get them? How safe are they? Do they have instructions of use?

Let’s hope your answers can spice up ours, and many readers’ bedroom mundane!

Mundane Maurice

A DEVICE primarily been used to facilitate human sexual pleasure has been documented for many centuries, across different civilizations.

The depiction of phallus-like objects describing the enhancement of sexual pleasure have been well-observed in Egyptian, Roman, and Asian civilizations. Only after the 1960’s sexual revolutions, the industry of the adult toys has consolidated to the wide range of products.

The sex toy industry is estimated to be valued at USD$15 billion globally and projected with the growth of 30% per annum. Sex toys are broadly divided into several categories. The devices can be gender specific or gender-neutral, penetrative, or non-penetrative, and electro or non-electro-stimulation.

The most widely known and recognized sex toy is female-orientated dildo. Such toys are made of various materials and come in various shapes and sizes, to cater for all bedroom needs. The devices may also be either static or vibratory in nature.

On the other hand, the male-orientated sex toys are also available but perhaps less publicized. Again, the variations of the toys in the form of mouth or anus, vibratory or otherwise, may also strike the users’ fancy. Although sex toy has the primary purpose of enhancing sexual pleasure.

However, calling such objects as “toys” may not be acceptable for many conservative societies, the same devices with the “toned down” with dated euphemism such as marital aid or bedroom enhancers, may be more palatable.

Technically, the expression of “marital aid” to be synonymous with “sex toys” are inaccurate. The marital aid in the broader sense should include medications and supplements that helps couples to enhance their sexual experience.

The sales of sex toys are widely available over the Internet, over the counters in drugstores and in countries with adult shops. However, the sales and use of sex toy is illegal in conservative countries such as India and South Africa, where the products are considered “obscene” and “Intended to be used to perform an unnatural sexual act.” In other countries like Japan, sex toys are sold as novelty items and need not adhere to regulatory restrictions.

Although most devices are made of inert materials, some may argue the objects should be regulated as medical devices, as certain toys may contain Phthalates that can be harmful when inserted in the bodies.

The devices that are electrical in nature, should at least have the assurance they don’t go “haywire” when utilised in human orifices. More importantly, the devices should also be treated with care to ensure hygiene.

As the devices has constant contacts with bodily fluid, the risk of transmission of sexually transmitted infections is also high. A recent publication in The Journal of Sexual Medicine revealed 53% of women in the United States aged 18 to 60 years old have used a vibrator.

Further study published in the Journal of Sex and Marital Therapy also echoed 44% of heterosexual men in United States have used vibrators predominantly to enhance pleasure with partners during foreplay.

Although the taboo of the device has diminished with time, the embarrassment of requiring adult toys in the bedrooms, still prohibits open acceptance for couples.

The Swedish chef and restaurateur, Marcus Samuelsson once said: “Even just a few spices or ethnic condiments that you keep in your pantry, can turn your mundane dishes into a culinary masterpiece.”

When couples with dwindling love flames and have toying ideas between the sheets are putting Dr. G on the spot for opinion, his view is:

“Open communication and toying ideas can definitely make mundane sheets into a bedroom masterpiece!”

Leave a Reply