Guilty displeasure: Time to take porn addiction in hand

Dear Dr. G,

I am a 26-year-old-man who is ashamed of my porn consumption and hope to get guidance from you for a healthier future.

Since my teenage years, I was rather curious about porn. I started watching more and more, as there is easy access to the material.

As I get older, I am increasingly aware that porn and masturbation are bad for me, but I really find it difficult to kick the habit.

I recently read about a British MP who was caught by a female counterpart watching porn in parliament, and suddenly realised I have the same problem.

In my early 20s, I even watched it during lessons in college. I was lucky I did not get caught. But I constantly felt guilty.

I also realise my past relationships were also disastrous. As I engaged in sexual activities, I began to realise I was keen on porn and sometimes had difficuty maintaining an erection during intercourse.

I realise I need professional help.

I am ashamed to put Dr G on the spot to enquire about my porn problems.

Can you tell me whether pornography addiction is real?

How do I know whether or not I am addicted?

Can porn addiction cause erectfile dysfunction?

Can anything be done to help someone like me?

Am I doomed to the world of porn for the rest of my life?

Please help

Guilty Glen

Pornography is generally described as materials that portray explicit sexual subject matter for the purpose of sexual arousal.

The titillating and sexually charged imagery has been around for at least 30,000 years, with prehistoric sculptures found depicting voluptuous women in provocative poses.

Later, pornography was provided to consumers in the form of drawings, pictures, paintings, sculptures and postcards until the later part of the 20th century.

The arrival of the Internet transformed the industry by allowing immediate access to pornography.

In 2009, the US porn industry alone was said to have generated US$15bil in revenue, more than sports and music combined.

The tremendous growth of the industry has come with unprecedented social cost. This raised questions for a new generation on its impact on “normal” sexual function.

With a certain degree of guilt from religious and moral qualms over watching porn, couples are known to face challenges between the sheets when it comes to normal sexual encounters.

Porn has become a form of behavioural addiction, but whether or not this constitutes an actual addiction is still being debated in the psychiatric and psychological community.

“Normal” interaction in bed can never match the excitement of the fantasy world that porn creates.

A 2016 publication gathering a few case studies illustrated how pornography desensitises the sexual response in men, as hardcore porn decreases the satisfaction of “normal” sex.

The study highlighted that porn potentially induces a self-conscious body image, triggering anxiety during sex.

The proposed theory behind porn-induced sexual dysfunction is based on the need to progressively increase sexual stimulation to feel arousal, and such increments of desire may change the way the brain reacts to arousal.

The desensitisation can potentially lead to a man failing to achieve a state of arousal with a real-life partner.

For an individual to recognise pornography addiction, there has to be several stages of self-awareness.

First, the realisation of an inability to stop viewing despite trying to do so.

This is followed by the constant craving to view more porn, despite wasting a great deal of time.

An obsession with porn also results in unrealistic ideas about sex, and losing interest in real sex and relationships.

This can also cause distraction in other aspects of life, having a negative impact on self-confidence and interpersonal relationships with friends, coworkers and colleagues.

As with any addiction, any inability to access porn may also result in anger and irritability, further disrupting relationships.

The treatment of porn addiction generally involves psychotherapy, group therapy and medication.

Psychotherapy such as cognitive behavioural therapy can help individuals to identify unhealthy behaviours and adaptive ways of coping with the shortcomings.

Support groups are modelled after the 12-step programme of Alcoholics Anonymous, focussing on understanding of the compulsion, support for the sufferer, and identifying universal coping mechanisms to help prevent a relapse.

Lastly, medication can suppress the “reward” neurotransmitters in the brain linked to obsessive thoughts, reducing sexual urges and compulsions.

Internet users are accustomed to instant gratification and a shot of reward neurotransmitters to the brain, all from a few easy clicks of a button.

This is like rats in a science experiment caged with a lever that dispenses cocaine. Soon, we are all addictively clicking and fapping away, and addicted to the imagery online, not knowing the potential harm it could cause.

An individual feeling guilty for watching too much porn may struggle with erectile dysfunction, self-confidence or interpersonal relationships partly due to the feeling of wrongdoing.

Such a guilty conscience can be the first step towards self-awareness and a desire for self-correction.

The Roman playwright Plautus (254-184BC) once wrote: “Nothing is more wretched than the mind of a man conscious of guilt.”

Dr G is often put on the spot by individuals feeling guilty over excessive porn consumption and expressing a desire for change.

Naturally, his response is: “Nothing is more wretched between the sheets, than the man with the guilt of excessive indulgence in porn!”

The key is knowing where to draw the line with excessiveness.